Syreena Anne Maycock, Toronto, Ontario, Canada (formerly Windsor)
I knew her from a year ago, as she had play dates with my friend’s son and mine, so I thought she was a decent person.
We started dating in mid-February.
She is a the very definition of a manipulator, borderline personality disorder, which I have since read about at great length.
- She told me what I wanted to hear. How she wanted to save money and pay off debts and we could do it better together. Unfortunately, like a lot of manipulators, she knew me better than I knew myself!
- Soon, it push, push push and I never got to stop and think what was going on, or whether it was reasonable or not.
- The first weekend I went up to Windsor, from Toronto and we seemed to hit it off
- The second weekend she came down, and never left!
- She pushed for an apartment, as she claimed my mom didn’t like her and it was important for her son to be in school
- Next thing we were moving to Scarborough with barely enough money for first months rent, for the beginning of March – she pushes for a joint account to combine our money for rent and expenses
- My overdraft started bouncing – everything went on my credit cards and every time we went into a store we “had” to have this and that, to the tune of $1500/week!
- When I would question our finances, she’d side step it. She was busy, or was upset that I didn’t trust her
- Push, push push – we needed this and that and we’d make it up when she found a full time job in Toronto! – so money was taken out of my savings
- Next thing you know, she’s suggesting a wedding ring. No way – “Just kiddiing” she says
- I spend the next weeks taking the kids to school, packing lunches, snacks, making dinner, trying to organize the new apartment and run my business. She’s “job hunting on her new cell phone in bed!
- When I insisted on talking about finances, she’d threaten to leave. “I din’t trust her.” and “I said yes to all our purchases!”
- I began to realize that us going out for errands was an excuse for her to drag me out to “agree” to buy everything she wanted.
- We were living off of credit, really badly, but I managed to save money for rent. When I asked her to put it in the bank, her eyes lit up (more shopping!)
- Two weeks into March, and our new move, she wanted me to take time off work for March break with the kids (I was the only one working!) Then insisten I was neglecting the my son. (This is a tactic of manipulative people to make you feel guilty and do what they want.) However, she didn’t lift a finger to take her son or mine out herself!
- On the way to another mall to do a return, which she insisted on accompanying me on, she starts talking about laser eye surgery. “It’s only $4000 and we can do it in installments of $89/month for five years” -> $5400! Another “arguement” – I cancel her credit card – Started loathing having her come with me. Couldn’t contemplate spending $150 or more everytime we went anywhere!
- Third week of March – we spent the rent money on furniture and stuff – she finds I cancelled her credit card and goes crazy. “I don’t trust her, our relationship is through!” ??? As I go to pick up the kids from school, she transfers all the overdraft from our joint account and leaves with her “survival money”. Instead of going to her new job for training, she insisted I was holding her son hostage and to bring him in. Upon coming down she sent the kids to the room and slapped me hard enought to knock the glasses off my face. (The kids’ had to help me find them). Then she took her son and left.
– $8000 in debt and lost savings for me!
– For her, a $1500 plain ticket on my credit card, $2000 in cash she’s transfered out, $400 in shoes, $150 in books, $700 to move her from Windsor back to Toronto, new clothing, a metropass she’s never used, a new Blackberry Torch cell phone (two weeks of texting and I get the cell phone back, stuck with the contract)
After she (finally!) left, I finally got a chance to do the 6 loads of laundry that she had strewn all over the bedroom floors, mostly hers, dispite my wishes to organize anything. (Is this how she lives?) She bought cloths with the money she took from the overdraft! For survival?
Unfortunately because she suggested everything was joint, or put into our joint account, it was all considered gifts or joint property so I could not get her for fraud. Anything she didn’t want me to return or touch, she conveniently lost the receipt for! She gave lip service and even sex, only until she got into the new apartment, then she became rude and selfish.
When she left, she insisted I was abusive and wanted me to move back to mom’s so she could have the apartment! (Also a reason why she didn’t want to unpack any of my things.)
Remember this all happened in 5 weeks!
Since then I’ve looked up manipulative people and she fits it to a T!
Very smooth talker and what she says sounds plausible, but doesn’t make sense if you have time to sit back and look at the whole picture. However, she kept me so busy I didn’t have time to stop and think. She went everywhere with me, I thought out of affection but now realize, because it was her way of maintaining control.
She makes my ex-wife look good!
Didn’t do any work around the apartment, but lay in bed ordering me around, to the point where she was getting bed sores on her legs after a week of lying there doing Internet on her cell phone and watching shows on the laptop!
Don’t date her, it’s not worth it! She’s only out for herself and she’s dragging her poor son along for the ride!
The good news. I finally learned to stand on my own two feet. Single and free!
I learned that you shouldn’t treat everyone nicely, as I’ve been doing my whole life, but treat the nice people well and avoid the bad ones all together.
Found out that you don’t need someone to be whole. You should learn to be whole and find someone else who is whole to share your life with.
Got so frustrated that I made a website to talk to post bad peoples names, because at the time, I couldn’t find this one. www.manipulators-anonymous.webs.com (Don’t know the legal implications, but think I was fair.)
Good luck to everyone.
Peace and love